[Menvi-discuss] Dealing with sighted bandmates

Thu Jan 24 21:44:52 EST 2013

Hi Kaiti,

Unfortunately, there are divas everywhere.  If you're the kind of
person who feels comfortable saying something to the girl, then tell
her how it is.  :)  Other than that, don't worry about it, unless you
want to let one of your directors know or anything.  Sometimes
professors can pick up on that kind of thing though.  Just be
confident, and don't change anything on her account.

On 1/24/13, Kaiti Shelton <crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Thanks all,
>
> Brandon, yep that is exactly what I do.  I'm on the end of a row since
> our section is two rows, but I sit next to another clarinet major who
> is actually really helpful.  She's going into music ed, so slipping me
> a few notes verbally as we go and describing pieces is good for her
> too and is a win win situation.  I do the best that I can by ear and
> am actually picking more and more up each rehearsal, and even the
> trickier parts are starting to fall into place with the verbal help,
> it's just the awkward interval jumps and some of the high fast stuff I
> still need to get.  It's also only the second week of school and we
> just had only our fourth rehearsal, so I'm still a little in
> sightreading mode for some of the pieces.  I don't know where the
> incompetency thing is coming from because most of the time I can
> follow pretty well, and I'm playing at a metzo forte volume so if I
> frack a note only me and possibly the music ed major next to me could
> possibly hear it.
> Kelsey, the music department doesn't tolerate it and the one
> instigator isn't a music major.  The other two were, but what I heard
> sounded more like the one girl talking and the others were just kind
> of there.  One was at her locker minding her own business, (and I
> actually found out that she had somewhere else to go so she wasn't one
> of the one's "scattering") so it sounds like it's just the one person.
>  I don't know what the third person was really doing, but she just
> kind of laughed a little so it could have been at anything, or she
> could have felt uneasy (she's usually pretty friendly, and the first
> girl tends to be kind of judgemental about a lot of people, I'm not
> the first one I've heard her talk about).  Now that I have thought
> about it I can't definitively say if all three were involved, I just
> know one is for sure.
> I didn't have this problem at all first semester, so I'm surprised
> that it's coming up now.  I think that if this certain person keeps
> doing it I will say something to the effect of what I wrote in my
> first email, but other than that I will just try to ignore her because
> like Brandon said, playing the best I can on my ensemble and solo rep
> is more important than stupid social stuff, and the people in the
> music department itself who I actually socialize and play music with
> most of the time are supportive.  Like I said, it's mainly just an
> annoying thing I thought I was done with, but my personal playing is
> the only thing I really care about.
>
> Thanks for the advice.
> P.S. Chella, I did that too a couple of years ago in my high school
> marching band.  My director forgot to tell me if I was on part 1, 2,
> or 3 when he gave me the music in advance so I learned all three parts
> for the show.  He was a little flustered when I came to band camp and
> knew not just part 1 or 2, but all three inside and out.
>
> On 1/24/13, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hello,
>> I've never delbt with people saying I'm incompetent, but what I have done
>> is
>>
>> play along with the other people a microsecond after they play. I hear
>> the
>> note and if I know my instrument well enough I can instantly play that
>> note
>>
>> on my instrument. Of course, if the jumps are odd or very large I'm a
>> little
>>
>> slow, but following by ear is how I learn choir music when I don't have
>> it
>> in music and also how I learned band music before I read music. The down
>> side is you are only as good as the person next to you, so that is when
>> you
>>
>> really want to sit next to the leaders of the section.
>> I would just ignore them and play your solo rep and band rep as best as
>> you
>>
>> can.
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Kaiti Shelton
>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 3:56 PM
>> To: menvi-discuss at menvi.org
>> Subject: [Menvi-discuss] Dealing with sighted bandmates
>>
>> One of the frustrating things I've dealt with for a while is when my
>> sighted bandmates talk behind my back or make comments about my
>> incompetent playing.  Of course, I am not an incompetent player and
>> have actually been told by directors things like I have great
>> musicality and a nice tone and such.  Right now this is happening in
>> my college's top wind ensemble in my section because I am waiting to
>> receive my music back from my transcriber.  Instead of just sitting
>> through the 2 hour rehearsals doing nothing I've decided to make the
>> effort to learn as much as I can by ear and then supplement/fix my
>> learning once I have my music.
>>
>> I know that the people doing it aren't the most mature people in the
>> section and that they're all not really my friends or anything, but I
>> at least thought I was on friendly terms with each of them and that
>> they'd understand that I'm a good player who just doesn't have music
>> like they do yet.  (They've all heard me play fine in other
>> ensembles).  I'm past the point of high school where something like
>> this would get to my head and actually effect my playing, and it's not
>> crushing or anything emotionally since it's not like a friend saying
>> things behind my back, but it is getting old after putting up with it
>> all through high school.  I thought college musicians might have a
>> little more maturity, and most at my university seem to have it, but
>> at the same time I don't really feel like they have the right to judge
>> since none of them have probably ever tried to learn a piece
>> completely by ear without print in front of them.  I actually heard
>> them earlier this week because they were talking pretty close to my
>> band locker, and my section leader in another band reprimanded one of
>> the girls for saying the same thing when we were learning music a few
>> weeks ago and specifically mentioned that I was playing by ear, so I
>> know this has at least happened twice.  I almost confronted them when
>> I was at my locker and thought about suggesting that if they care
>> enough to talk amongst themselves about it that they should help to be
>> a part of the solution instead of perpetuating the problem, but of
>> course they scattered once I shut my locker and they saw me.
>>
>> I'm wondering if anyone else has had to deal with similar situations
>> and if so what did you do.  Did you ignore it and write it off as
>> people being narrow-minded and immature, or did you make more of an
>> effort to call them out on it than I did?
>>
>> Kaiti
>>
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>
>
> --
> Kaiti
>
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-- 
Julie McG
National Association of Guide dog Users board member,  National
Federation of the Blind performing arts division secretary,
Missouri Association of Guide dog Users President,
and Guiding Eyes for the Blind graduate 2008
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that
everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal
life."
John 3:16